 The funniest thing I've ever read |
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 Jan 19 2008, 01:19 AM
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#1
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 General  Group: Members Posts: 724 Joined: 7-April 07 From: Northern, NY Member No.: 8  |
( taken from chapter 1 The Pale Horseman)
So I did it. I went down on my knees and I shuffled through the mud, and the silent lines of men watched me, and then Aethelwold, close behind me, began to wail that he was a sinner. He threw his arms in the air, fell flat on his face, howled that he was penitent, shrieked that he was a sinner, and at first men were embarrassed and then they were amused. "I've known women!" Aethelwold shouted at the rain. "And they were bad women! Forgive me!" Alfred was furious, but he could not stop a man making a fool of himself before God. Perhaps he thought Aethelwold's remorse was genuine? "I've lost count of the women!" Aethelwold shouted, then beat his fists in the mud. "Oh God, I love tits! God, I love naked women. God forgive me for that!" The laughter spread, and every man must have remembered that Alfred, before piety caught him in its clammy grip, had been notorious for the women he had pursued. "You must help me, God!" Aethelwold cried as we shuffled a few feet farther, "Send me an angel!" "So you can hump her?" a voice called from the crowd and the laughter became a roar. I swear to god I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I'm not much farther into the book, but I simply had to share that with everyone, even if you've all read it before. That is priceless!! --------------------  |
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Jan 19 2008, 02:24 AM
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#2
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 General Group: Administrator Posts: 2,787 Joined: 7-April 07 From: Cardiff, Wales, UK and Tucson, Arizona Member No.: 7 |
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) I'd forgotten that bit. Yes, that's great, I really laughed at that as well. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
-------------------- SCIENCE: A way of finding things out and then making them work. Science explains what is happening around us all the time. So does RELIGION, but science is better because it comes up with more understandable excuses when it's wrong.
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Jan 19 2008, 02:17 PM
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#3
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General Group: Members Posts: 969 Joined: 8-April 07 Member No.: 17 |
QUOTE(RnRPaintGrL @ Jan 19 2008, 01:19 AM)  I swear to god I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I'm not much farther into the book, but I simply had to share that with everyone, even if you've all read it before. That was funny and Athelwold continues to play a role throughout the series. He should be there in the future when Alfred's son Edward grows up. Then, he'll be really important.
That is priceless!! |
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Jan 19 2008, 02:28 PM
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#4
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General Group: Administrator Posts: 2,787 Joined: 7-April 07 From: Cardiff, Wales, UK and Tucson, Arizona Member No.: 7 |
Bernard is very good at doing that 'earthy' sort of humour. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
-------------------- SCIENCE: A way of finding things out and then making them work. Science explains what is happening around us all the time. So does RELIGION, but science is better because it comes up with more understandable excuses when it's wrong.
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Jan 19 2008, 10:54 PM
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#5
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 Major Group: Members Posts: 429 Joined: 9-April 07 From: Omaha, NE USA Member No.: 20 |
Very funny!!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
-------------------- Shiny!
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Jan 20 2008, 11:08 AM
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#6
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 Rifleman Group: Members Posts: 16 Joined: 4-January 08 From: Montreal, Quebec Member No.: 46 |
It's the type of passages that makes the series even more fun to read!
-------------------- " It's so magnicient when it all begins..." Napoléon Bonaparte
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Jan 20 2008, 11:35 AM
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#7
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General Group: Members Posts: 724 Joined: 7-April 07 From: Northern, NY Member No.: 8 |
BC keeps surprising me like that. I get used to him being all serious then stuff like that pop up and I fall in love with his writing all again.
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Jul 9 2010, 07:21 PM
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#8
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 Sergeant Group: Members Posts: 108 Joined: 15-September 07 From: Dumfriesshire, Scotland Member No.: 40 |
I love this type of one liner wise crack, was it at the G8 concert or something when Bono or Geldof (someone with a high horse anyway) was clicking his fingers saying that every time he clicks his fingers a child in Africa dies and someone in the crowd shouted "stop clicking your fucking fingers then"
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Jul 10 2010, 12:13 AM
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#9
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General Group: Administrator Posts: 2,787 Joined: 7-April 07 From: Cardiff, Wales, UK and Tucson, Arizona Member No.: 7 |
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
-------------------- SCIENCE: A way of finding things out and then making them work. Science explains what is happening around us all the time. So does RELIGION, but science is better because it comes up with more understandable excuses when it's wrong.
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